v0.1
Corporate Jargon Translator
Plain-English Sabotage
Paste in any email or Slack message full of “synergy” and “visibility.” Get back a brutally honest translation that says what they actually mean.
Prototype • Coming SoonChaos Penguin is the dead-eyed office mascot who’s finally honest about work: too many meetings, too much “circling back,” not enough fish. This site is his armory of office sabotage micro-tools — harmless chaos that makes corporate life slightly less soul-crushing.
Tiny, ridiculous tools for people trapped in “quick syncs” that are neither quick nor synced. These are early prototypes — new chaos drops as often as possible.
Paste in any email or Slack message full of “synergy” and “visibility.” Get back a brutally honest translation that says what they actually mean.
Prototype • Coming SoonAuto-generate suspiciously professional-looking agendas so you can cancel meetings, hijack them, or make them so clear no one wants to attend.
Designing WorkflowA micro-filter that flags dangerous “Reply All” threads, inserts a warning from Chaos Penguin, and suggests a quieter response.
On the Chaos RoadmapClick a button, get an oddly believable reason you absolutely cannot attend that 4:30pm “quick touch-base.”
Coming SoonDrop in corporate performance feedback and see the unfiltered, sarcastic version Chaos Penguin hears in his head.
On DeckA single button that triggers a random harmless act of chaos: quotes, sound effects, fake “meeting cancelled” popups, and more.
This will be built firstGet early access to new sabotage micro-tools, behind-the-scenes experiments, and exclusive Chaos Penguin comics. No “best practices,” only petty mischief.